iddle troll girl

Of course I got it from tiedtoanight, where else do I get my memes from!

Give me the name of one of my characters and one of yours and I'll tell you...

1. How I feel about this character
2. All the people I ship romantically with this character
3. My non-romantic OTP for this character
4. My unpopular opinion about this character
5. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character

So I finally finished this meme u.u;;; So much nonsense, too sleepy to html code much

( Tips and advice )
( Eras )
( Potential games )

( FAVORITES )
( CHARACTER LISTS )

I've been so uninspired to chat about RP lately, it's kind of pathetic. But here goes.

SURPRISES
DAY 13 - Tell us about a character who surprised you.
Neil surprised me a great deal. He wasn't a very strong muse at all, kind of a luke warm villain and a prissy little dick. Then suddenly, BOOM, plots everywhere!

Jeremy surprised me a little too by actually growing as a character and developing feelings I didn't think he was all that capable of.

DAY 14 - Tell us about a character relationship that surprised you.
Trick&Wood. It was meant to just be a one night stand of hot sex0r fun but oh my, look at them now. Definitely my happy place to go to. Jeremy and Joaquin surprised me too and Lex&Trick - awesome friends.

DAY 15 - Tell us about a plot when the consequences surprised you.
I think the whole "Neil tells Amarinth where Lucien lives and she kidnaps him and tortures him for days" really kind of got much bigger than I ever imagined! Oh yes.

DAY 11 - Tell us about something you learned about from someone else's character or a game plot.

I have learned so much through RP, I can't even... Wow yeah. I actually can't even think of a single thing right now. That's how my brain works. It refuses to pull up facts when demanded.

DAY 12 - Tell us about a hobby or occupation one of your characters has that you would be interested in pursuing.

One of my (old) characters is a horror novelist and that must be awesome! He also teaches randomly at night - English to adults. That sounds like a sweet deal though his making ends meet that way is so totally implausible! :B

Another works in a tiny library which also sounds like a sweet deal. Also entirely implausible since he doesn't have much education but eh, RP is RP.

As for hobbies. Meh. Meh I say. I have RP!

Total fail this time. Better next time.

DAY 10 - Tell us about something you learned about or researched for a character.

Wow, the things that I have googled. My Google history, had I not paused and disabled it for privacy reasons, would be a great source of entertainment and embarrassment. Everything from weird biological stuff, bodily functions, diseases, whether it's possible to make silver bullets and how, post-apocalypse nuclear reactors and other electricity sources. Simple facts about American towns and states since I've never even been there, slang, basic EMT first on the scene stuff, types of weaponry. I could go on and on, really. Dudes, I once studied something about fish anatomy for a mermaid character... Not to mention animal habits for shapeshifters.

RP. Not just for BS.

Days 2-9, because I've been too sick to do these in order u.u
( So lots of crap and pictures! )

( Where do you get inspiration for characters and/or plots? )

snagged from tiedtoanight
( 30 Days of RP Part 2 )

So this happened in my brain. Wood's not mine, but he still gets pretty vocal in my head every now and then. Kind of like Trick's wishful thinking or something? XD; Oh well, you KNOW you have imaginary conversations like that with real people so meh.

( sappy of DOOM )

Curtis does not like gurls! At least not when they're all up on what's his

Bet: eeeeeee Aaron is on Teeveeee<3
Bet: *glomps him*
Marie: eeeeee!!!!
Marie: *also*
Marie: Is he singing?
Bet: lol well yeah
Bet: oh yeah they do interviews sometimes
Bet: duh
Bet: XD
Marie: could've been an interview, idk XD <3
Bet: derp derp
Marie: hee <3<3<3
Marie: is it our favorite?
Bet: no :(
Bet: he's singing with a guuuurl. Curtis is scowling
Marie: awwww sad *cuddles Curtis*
Bet: He scowls and scowls (but secretly likes cuddles)

Random crap that popped into my head when I was looking at pictures (instead of sleeping) and this probably should have been shorter but I have a tendency to over-explain stuff and... it's totally AU and totally random and from the POV of a character who's not even mine and I DON'T CARE (because I could have been sleeping instead).

( I have no shame. Not anymore. )

So, back on "cliques". Most games have clusters of groups and you know what? THAT'S OKAY. I've lost interest in the whole struggle of trying to force out scenes with people. I know that yes, It CAN lead to awesomeness, but for the most part it's just that. A forced scene. Lately I've found it really hard to think of things to write unless it's my favorite characters against their favorite characters. I could blame school for stressing me out, lack of time and all that jazz, but for the most part it's roleplay ennui.

The thing is, I like the people I'm in a game with but there's still that spark you have with only a handful of players. When uninspired, tired, stretched thin - those people always get you into the mood, fill you with awesome thoughts and coax your muses out. People who don't do that for me aren't bad players or boring people, they're just not my people. That should be okay, they have their own people too.

Some people love being in games with 100+ people, talking to at least half of them, juggling 20 scenes a day and being all over the place. Sometimes when I'm going through a rare hyper-phase, I'm like that too. But more and more I'm becoming an introvert online as much as I am offline. I don't want 20 scenes a day. I can barely handle four. Sometimes I can't even focus on more than one scene at a time because it is so all consuming and that character completely eats my brain.

We keep doing the whole "We should scene something" thing at each other. I don't want to do that anymore. It should be: "I want to scene something"; it should be "I want to scene this, is your character available?"

So this is a big part of why I've sucked so bad lately. It's not the people in the games I'm in. I still love reading your logs, I enjoy most of the characters, I'm interested in seeing where some of those storylines are going. I just don't feel like writing with everyone all the time.

So this is where some people will ask, "Why bother being in a community if you're not going to write with a lot of people?" Well, for me, being in a community is about more than just "Play with ALL the people!" It's also just sharing stories and characters, having a sense of a bigger world around your stories. Seeing how sometimes your actions influence another character because they share a space and have mutual friends or enemies. I always liked stories where a bunch of strangers are somehow connected or all heading to the same location for some mysterious reason.

So as of now, I'm just going to stop stressing myself about it. I really have lately too, citing school as taking up a lot of my time but honestly, it's not just school. I'm just tired and I find it hard to focus. I'm getting slower with tagging scenes and I don't know if it's my depression (yay seasonal affective disorder), stress (yay school), age (yay.. wait, I'm not THAT old o_O) or if it's just that I've been roleplaying for years and years.

You all put up these posts where you plan the week/day's scenes. I've stopped doing that, as you may have noticed. I've stopped commenting unless I have concrete ideas or I really want something. This is why. I'm still available, I still adore you and I'm not going anywhere, just don't expect me to jump into a lot of scenes that don't have a good reason for taking place.

( I am a meme FIEND and I'm losing track... )

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one who remembers that GJ had its share of bullshit; "flakers" and "shady bitches" and communities that didn't last were a dime a dozen over there. Yet I keep seeing people vent about how they miss the good old days on GJ and how all this shitty behavior only started on IJ.

It kind of reminds me of old people bitching about "teenagers today" or something,

So, I've had a lot of trouble with my writing lately and luckily, my mojo is returning! But, it's not all there and I'm running into a wall with some of my characters.

I'd like input on this, I don't want to fuck anyone over by removing characters that are vital to their story lines and I'll accommodate you somehow if it comes to that.

( This is kind of like that game - fuck, kill or marry? )

Winter is coming *dramatic Game of Thrones quote? This does not bode well*.

I'm finding it really hard to connect with my characters and muster enthusiasm for anything. This is why I'm slow on tagging these days and I'm really sorry. Sometimes I open up a document and just stare at it, then go away and come back to it, stare at it some more and then close it. It's endlessly shitty. I have moments where I think about dropping everything but then I remind myself that this too will pass and the enthusiasm and fun will return.

I wish I could give you all an estimate here but for all I know the writing bug could return tomorrow, or it could return in December. This is a yearly event though, maybe I'll look back on some logs and see how long it took all those last times.

tl;dr: Sorry I'm slow. I'm drowning in apathy and my muses sleep even more than I do. Sorry for the inconvenience :(

Looking back at my insecurities from a short time ago and I'm over one of them.

Too much smut. Not really! The numbers are super surprising to me, I feel like I write way too much of it.
So, I was in a braindead mode and was updating the warnings on the log-pages and.. counted.

( OCD tendencies this way! )

( What was your very first ship? )( A pairing that needs to happen now? )

( What is your current favorite ship? )